Should you run your professional cuddling business in your home? My thoughts

Just picture it: I’m just over a year into building my cuddling practice, connecting with another cuddler over our shared work. The topic of where we cuddle comes up, and suddenly, that connection is cut off. The other cuddler turns their nose up at me.

Why? 

I told them the truth: I was cuddling with clients on my bed, in my bedroom. 

(At the time, I remember thinking “Where TF else am I supposed to cuddle? On the fucking floor?”)

When I first started my professional cuddling business, that bedroom was also my cuddling “office”. I shared a tiny three-bedroom apartment with two other roommates, and I didn’t have other space to cuddle in.

When my boyfriend moved into that same itsy bitsy apartment with me about four years later, my old bedroom became a dedicated cuddle space, and we lived out of another room. A bunch of packing and unpacking later, and our move into a different two-bedroom meant I still had a designated room in my house for cuddling. 

It wasn’t until we bought a one-bedroom condo where the layout wouldn’t logistically allow me to cuddle at home unless I kicked my boyfriend out (temporarily!) every time I had a cuddle client that I finally moved my business out of the house.

(also because home insurance would drop me because of my little known profession with very little actuarial data on how much risk they were taking on for my home business)

I literally didn’t stop working out of our home until I absolutely had to.

I cuddled out of my home for five and a half years before I finally got an office space to be my cuddle room– June 2021 was my office move-in date– and even then I made sure I got a place I knew I could afford while still paying myself.

Not often (but still TOO often) I hear about cuddlers who get an expensive office outside their home as soon as they start their business. They’re often left footing a huge rent bill when the demand for their services doesn’t match up with what they expected to be making.

This means that some cuddlers end up losing money on their cuddle business because they don’t want to work out of their homes.

While I was building up to a livable income, I couldn’t afford to take on more expenses for a business that was barely able to pay me. If I didn’t work out of my bedroom those first couple of years, the money I spent on a separate space probably would’ve made me go broke way sooner and out of business entirely wicked quick.

I think it’s really smart to utilize space you already have access to when starting your professional cuddling business– especially when you don’t know if you can afford to stay in business.

That space could be your home, but it doesn’t have to be– it could be another space like an in-law suite or a local wellness studio that you can access inexpensively.

I hear a lot of grumbling about the idea of professional cuddlers using their homes or a bedroom as a cuddle space. And I have OPINIONS on that.

See, some folks think it’s not a smart decision because:

• They think working out of a bedroom could unintentionally give it a “sexual” vibe. The truth is that people are going to make assumptions about your work no matter what space you work in. But unless you have overt, sexually-charged objects visible in the room— I’m talking unworn undergarments on the floor, unmistakeable sex toys on display, lube or condoms lying around, the works– this is a huge mental leap for people who already know what your work is about.
  
  Entering into a bedroom doesn’t mean you’re going through some sexy magical fairy portal where if you’re on a bed you must have sexy times. (And anyone that thinks that way would likely be really easy to screen out.)

• They think getting a space separate from your home would be more professional and give you more credibility. I mean, maybe, but since professional cuddling still isn’t super visible, most people in professional settings will question your work (read: professionalism and credibility) even if you do have an office.
  
  Even before the pandemic, so many professionals in other fields worked out of their homes– and this was perfectly acceptable. Issues people have with cuddlers working out of our homes feels more like a stigma to do with our field than the actual truth.
  
  Plus, THE IRS LETS YOU WRITE OFF A DEDICATED HOME OFFICE SPACE. If the government thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to let people work out of their homes, why wouldn’t we?

• They think it’s risky giving strangers your personal home address. This one very well could be a real concern for you– having people visit your home when they’re not seeing you for sessions, potential stalking, and the like– and I can’t tell you what your personal risk profile should look like. But for what it’s worth, in my (limited, white girl from the Northeast) experience, I never had a problem in the five years I worked out of my home.
  
  I also did some things to protect myself. My screening process includes a phone call to discuss what to expect for their sessions. That call needs to happen at least a day before the session we would have, so anyone in a rush for a cuddle (and possibly have attachment issues that might point to them being a stalker) would get screened out. I never gave my exact home address out on paper– non-clients got the general neighborhood I worked out of, and clients with confirmed sessions got an address to park at. I’d meet clients outside my home, where I was very visible to neighbors, before inviting them inside.
  
  (That last one is a simple thing to do: when someone feels that visible, they’re less likely to do something they’re not supposed to, and I felt safer knowing that my neighbors could see someone coming into my house with me. I felt like I had a community behind me.)
  
  If you can trust yourself to screen out people that might be a problem or won’t respect your boundaries, this will likely (hopefully!) never be an issue.

So while there are times that it DOES make sense to get a separate space outside your home to cuddle in right from the getgo, I recommend working with what you have first if you can help it.

Space can be a humongous expense on your bottom line or it can be a nice space at home that you’re paying for already.

And isn’t home where we would normally cuddle someone anyway?

You’ll want to pay attention to the local laws (and your lease, if you’re renting), but if you can, make your space clean and welcoming and just run with it. You can always get a separate space– if you decide you want one– once you’re able to justify the cost.

The logistics of where you’ll work with clients is just one thing to consider when setting up your cuddle business for success. I go through several other questions you should have answers to in my free PDF workbook, Design How You’ll Work as A Professional Cuddler Workbook. It’s built to help you have the business you want